Canadian Fashion Designer Thomas Brent

The Canadian
Coat of Arms

www. ThomasBrent .com

Clothing Humour Page

HELP US FILL THIS PAGE WITH HUMOROUS ANECDOTES, PICTURES, JOKES, ETC!!!

E-mail your clothing related bit of humor and we will post it on this page.

Just remember, the submissions have to be clothing related to be posted to our page!

Alan from Wilshire Blvd, Los Angeles, California USA Sent this tailoring joke and made me laugh like crasy

Alan gets a Thomas Brent Designs Best Joke T Shirt

Walking down the street, deeply depressed, Jack studies the well-dressed mannequin in front of "Zumbach's Tailor Shop," and decides to buy himself a new suit. "Maybe it'll get rid of these old doldrums," he murmurs to no one in particular.

As he enters, the tailor rises from his work and says, "You're looking for a suit. Come back in two weeks." Jack, flustered, remarks, "But you haven't even measured me or asked what kind..." Interrupting, the tailor says, impatiently, " I'm Zumbach, the tailor." He dismisses Jack with "Two weeks."

Two weeks pass and Jack returns to the shop in anticipation. A beutiful suit is hanging at the counter. Zumbach appears magically from behind the curtain and invites Jack to try the suit on. Jack does. It feels like nothing he has ever worn. As he admires the suit in the mirror, he notices a problem with the left sleeve.

"Uh, Zumbach... This sleeve looks a little long." Clearly annoyed, Zumbach retorts, "The suit's fine. You're standing wrong. Drop this arm and turn your body that way." Jack obeys, and, amazingly, the suit looks much better. Now Jack notices another problem. "Zumbach? The tail looks lower on this side."

Zumbach, now irritated, replies, "I told you you're standing wrong. Turn this way and bend your right knee." Sure enough the tails become even. This goes on for a few more rounds and, finally, the suit fits perfectly, though Jack has now contorted his body into a pretzel-like form. Strangely, though, he is no longer depressed.

He leaves the shop and pretzle-ishly walks toward his car. As he stops at a "Don't Walk" sign, a man standing nearby remarks, "That's a beautiful suit. It must have been made by Zumbach the tailor." "That's right," says Jack. "How did you know?"

"Because only a genius like Zumbach could fit someone as crippled as you!"

George from Winnipeg sends this little item LOL Seems George is going to get a T-Shirt

as he has yet again added to humour to our lives here LOL here is latest clothing related joke

It is initeresting enough entitled

THE LOVE DRESS

A woman stopped by unannounced at her recently married son's house. She rang the doorbell and walked in. She was shocked to see her daughter-in-law lying on the couch, totally naked. Soft music was playing, and the aroma of perfume filled the room.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm waiting for my husband to come home from work," the daughter-in-law answered.

"But you're naked!" the mother-in-law exclaimed.

"This is my love dress," the daughter-in-law explained.

"Love dress? But you're naked!"

"My husband loves me to wear this dress," she explained. "It excites him to no end. Everytime he sees me in this dress, he instantly becomes romantic and ravages me for hours on end. He can't get enough of me."

The mother-in-law left. When she got home, she undressed. showered, put on her best perfume, dimmed the lights, put on a romantic CD, and laid on the couch waiting for her husband to arrive.

Finally, her husband came home. He walked in and saw her laying there so provocatively.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"This is my love dress," she whispered, sensually.

"Needs ironing," he said. "What's for dinner?"

George from Winnipeg sends this little item LOL

Georges says Geez Louise!!!!!!~!

The Shoes are Real!!!!

She Actually walked down a busy city street with clothes -- only those "painted" on her.

Only in California! LOL

Most passersby didn't even give her a second look

because the paint looked so much like clothing.

Randy T's "Blonde"Clothing Jokes:

I know many people don't like "blonde" jokes but so many good ones can be related with clothes. ---- i.e.:

To a blonde, what does T.G.I.F. mean when putting on a pair of shoes?.......TOES GO IN FIRST!

How to keep a blonde busy (see front)! How to keep a blonde busy (see back)!

Howard R sent this one to us

I work in a small office in Rochester NY. Our city is not well known for its warm temperatures but rather it's harsh winter with copious amounts of snow. We get visited courier twice a day-once in the morning and the other just before closing. In the morning by a trim, fit woman and in the afternoon by a tanned, muscular gentleman. Now it appears that these two individuals have had a friendly wager going on as to who could go the latest in year making pickups and deliveries while wearing shorts which has led to a spirited following amongst the offices they visit and indeed, in years past the pair has been known to go well into December before someone would finally give in much to the chagrin of half the working populace. But today November 14, 1997 dawned ominously with snow coming down heavily and a wind chill factor of four degrees. While we were in the process of receiving (?) 10+ inches of snow today-our morning visitor bounded in at 10AM -- in long pants much to the dismay of aprroximately half of all she met. She offered no explanation but with receipt in hand turned quickly and left as if in a hurry to catch a train. What would happen in the afternoon? The speculative fever rose as high as the snow drifts until at 4PM in he strode--tanned as ever with a purposeful gait and..... LONG PANTS. A tie! What next? Our courier satisfies our curiosity by announcing to all--"OK. OK I've worn my pants today!" To which I had to say "Is this the normal announcement that you always make when you make a delivery?" Bet you next year they'll go later--but as the laughter died down we were already speculating on the tie-breaker.

Here is one came from Koda:

One day a woman and her 2 young daughters came into the mens clothing store where I worked. They were there to purchase a birthday gift for the childrens grandfather. After much looking and discussion between the children they finally decided on a sweater and a leather belt. As they stood at the register the mother said, "Girls this is a very nice Gucci belt." The youngest daughter then placed the belt around her waist and looked very puzzled. She then said, "Mom, we shouldn't buy this belt, it's broken! It doesn't tickle me at all, no goochie."

Ann B provided us with this one:

I am not feeling very witty today - therefore, the most humorous thing I can come up with is the $3,000,000 bra I saw in the Christmas Victoria Secret catalog. Three million dollars! Can you believe it? Just because it has a few diamonds on it.... Even the $200.00 version was out of my price range - it only had rhinestones instead of diamonds.

Queen of Hearts sent us this:

My husband has a shirt that has afamily whose faces are butts--it says "I survived a family of buttheads!"

The Happy Bear sent us this one:

Two, obviously well-to-do, men were sitting in the bar lamenting over their respective families poverty when they were children.

"We were so poor" said the one to the other "that I had to wear hand-me-downs until I was in high school"

"What was so bad about that?" questioned the other "I had to wear hand-me-downs too."

"Yes" replied the first man "but at least you had brothers!!!"

This one gets the prize for coming from the farthest away - it came to us from Dave B, all the way from Tel Aviv University!

Looking back, I realize I'd been ignoring subtle signs of weight gain, such as that I had worn only one pair of pants for three straight years. They were my biggest pants. The only way I could wear my other pants would have been on my arms. But I did not attribute this to weight gain. I attributed it to a natural weight shift that occurs as guys get older, wherein your weight gradually shifts to your thighs from other areas, such as your refrigerator.

Karen Jefferson forwarded this to us:

I can laugh now, but I wasn't laughing when my boyfriend and a group of friends were vacationing in New Hampshire and stopped at a waterpark. I had neglected to pack a swimsuit, but luckily (?) a friend offered to loan me hers, as she was unable to go on the waterslides that day. I had never been on one of those huge waterslides, and this was the "on your belly - face first" kind (which I didn't know until I was already at the top). So I went -- SCREAMING all the way down, partly from exhileration, partly from sheer fright. At the end, I felt, well "free". Free of a swimsuit top, that was, in front of everybody. The swimsuit top had fallen to my hips and I didn't even know it as I stood there at the bottom of the slide! Geez! That was the first and last time I:

1.) borrowed a swimsuit, and

2.) went down a giant waterslide.

Sent to us by Shawn Kuske:

Q. Why did the shirt ask if the needle was a comedian?

A. Because it had the shirt in stitches.

Degelder from MB ;):

2002 was an appalling year for me. In January, I threw my two-timing gamblaholic husband out of the house. In March, I found out my siding is rotten and I have to join a class-action law suit. Just before Christmas, I found two rotten spots on my roof. I really needed a good laugh by this point. When I opened a Christmas present from my parents, I almost fell off my chair from laughing. It was a tee shirt which says "I got this tee shirt for my husband - bloody good swap, eh?" Just what the doctor ordered!!

Thanks J from Mission, BC

Someone I knew related this actual experience to me.

A young woman belonged to a religion that baptized individuals when they were old enough to recognise what the beliefs of their religion was & wished to be members of it. So when she was baptized, she was a young adult.
She was notoriously nearsighted & couldn't see 2 feet in front without her glasses. Her glasses, therefore, came off as she entered the baptismal pool. She had borrowed a friend's bathing suit for the occasion that was decently demure. Because she was very skinny with a flat chest, the bathing suit didn't suit her having foam cups that held its own shape.
She folded her arms across her chest as she was briefly dunked under & when she came up, unknown to her, both cups were pushed in, looking like two very large dimples on her chest. But because she didn't realise what> happened, it never occurred to her what the murmur of giggles was about. As she came to the steps to climb out of the pool, she missed the first one & fell flat, baptizing herself a 2nd time. The murmur rose to full belly laugh & only after she was dried off, did she find out what had happened. Being the good natured sort she is, she was the first to tell friends about her unusual baptism.

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